List Lady

List Lady

 It’s been a long time coming but I have to share the experience of my first Home Owners Association Meeting. It was at this meeting that I decided to be a member of the board, thus giving me the inspiration to write this blog.


Due to the drama and “energy” at past meetings, a police officer had to be present. While the lawyer went over the covenants and rules via a power point, people continuously interrupted to tattle on one another and to complain about their “rights”. I’m sorry, did you not read the fine print when you bought your house and decided to live in an associated neighborhood? You were told exactly WHAT your rights were and let me tell you, they stop at the moving truck.


One neighbor complained about all of the wild cats and dogs running around. Oh, I know she wasn’t talking about the two or three times that my dog ran away from me and we were right on his tail, along with two neighbor friends. Then, the infamous Cat Lady stands up and says, “Please, don’t call the Humane Society! Just call me; I have a no-kill cat trap that I will let you borrow. I won’t even charge you but you have to promise that if you catch a cat, you will bring it to me”. Right lady, like we are going to help you feed your addiction. Creepy cat junkie…


Then, this other lady stands up and I swear, she unrolled a scrolled up list, Santa Clause style. As the end rolled down to the floor, she began reading the following, “Mow your lawn, I’m sick of looking at knee-high grass, there should not be cars parked on the street or the driveways, USE YOUR GARAGE! Take care of your weeds; you need to have only grass growing in your yard. People, get some curtains! Take those freakin’ bed sheets out of the windows!”


I turned back around and faced the front, my jaw almost to my belly-button. “Who died and made her queen?” I asked my husband.


The rest of the meeting was then monopolized by Cat Lady and List Lady. Oh, and let’s not forget the Angry Guy who is angry that the drainage pond behind his house is not full. He yelled and screamed and cursed up a storm. At that moment, the police officer STOOD UP! According to our lawyer and management company, List Lady is not in the right and cannot dictate her own rules and impose them upon the people of the Maple Neighborhood. Thank the Lord. Not that I have bedsheets in my window but when I was a kid, my mom made me curtains out of bedsheets so I don’t see a problem with the whole idea.

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