As I mentioned before, I was on a road trip last week. I set off for the 9 ½ hour each way drive all by myself. Having given up soda pop the week before, I was a little bit worried about the road ahead but I knew that if I could make it there and back without soda, I would be well on the way to quitting my habit. Here are some things that I thought about on the way there and back.
1. Where are all of the gosh darn cinnamon bears! (For some reason when I plan a road trip, I all of a sudden develop a craving for those cinnamon gummy like bears that you USED to be able to find at a drug store or gas station. They are served to you in a clear plastic bag with a red and yellow paper label at the top that says “59 cents each or 2/$1″. Ummm, duh, I’ll take TWO HUNDRED! Sadly I didn’t find ANY Cinnabears on my trip.
2. The gas station attendant at Wilbur Wright parkway exit smells like poop sooo bad. I purchased a bag of Reese’s Pieces and a Mountain Fresh air freshener so that I could inhale and get the smell off of my palate. As soon as I got to my car, I dry heaved for 10 minutes. I also sniffed the tree shaped scented cardboard for a few minutes and then shoved it under the seat in my car. Peach is way better. Still no Cinnabears.
3. Gas station #3 – How am I always so lucky to always stop at the bathroom where they just mopped the floor…with piss!? I almost slipped and fell on the floor which was covered in an even coat of urine by the way. I wonder what kind of grout sealant they use to stand up against that kind of monsoon. I won’t even be looking for Cinnabears here.
4. Gas station #4 and lunch. Never mind on the lunch. My car-tired legs gave out on me and forced me to sit on the toilet seat instead of hover. There is pee dribbling down the back of my thigh and it’s not mine! I won’t bother with looking for Cinnamon Bears in this place either.
5. On the way home: who names things? BIG Savage Mountain, Savage River? Which was named first? Big Blue River, hmm, not as Savage as Savage River but Bigger than Savage River. I wish I had Cinnamon Bears.
6. Gas Station #2 – 1 out of 3 toilets was unusable at this stop! They had more sinks available! No, I did not do the deed in the sink! Cinnamon Bear search: without success.
7. Gas Stop #2 – Who washes their car with the window squeegee at the gas station? That girl with the flannel and Ugg boots. I’ve given up on finding Cinnamon Bears. Abort mission.