Chicken Skins

Chicken Skins

 My dog and I were out in the front yard and she ran away. Knowing that she would likely gravitate towards children or traffic, I was 50% alarmed so I started looking for her. A woman who purchased the house across the cul-de-sac (the one we liked so much because it backed up so close to the people who live behind it that you could toss leftovers to them), came running out of her house to my rescue. Lucky me, the 60-something princess was wearing a black one piece bathing suit with black shorts over them. Woman, as much as I appreciate your assistance, let me warn you that if you make a regular show of helping people, you need something with a little more support. Also, who has the pool? That is why we wear bathing suits right?

In our part of the neighborhood, we fondly refer to this woman as Crazy Cat Lady. Aha, you say. You know who I’m talking about! Crazy Cat Lady kindly helps lure my dog over to me with fried chicken skin that materialized out of nowhere, perhaps her pockets? The dog took the bait and as I stood there holding her collar, Crazy Cat Lady talked my ear off about how much she hates the neighborhood: there’s too many kids, there’s too many rules, there’s too much noise, there’s too much traffic, etc., etc. She even referred to herself as “the oldest bitch on the block”. There people go, always trying to change their God-given, neighborhood nicknames. Let me reiterate that she keeps it real with the bathing suit. Finally, relieved of her idle conversation, the dog and I walked home with chicken skins and a headache.

To my cat loving friends and fans, I’m not ragging on you. Crazy Cat Lady got her reputation, not from having two or three cats, but from last count around the neighborhood, 30 or 40! She also enjoys extravagant cat décor; her home has a good 15 cat statues in the front yard, some brass kitty décor and the wonderful cat national flag flying proudly. I tell the kids in the neighborhood that each of those statues has a dead kitty buried under it; I’m just waiting to see her yard all dug up one day.

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