The honor of being able to share so many door-to-door salesman stories is so tremendous but I wish that this was not a medal that I had the pleasure of wearing.
The daughter of the loudest family on the block, stopped by yesterday while I was outside gardening. Our closest friends in the neighborhood join us in calling her Blonde Blob on a Bike, the first part is self-explanatory, and the second part is because she is always on her bike. Yesterday, she was showing off an array of gift wrappings and other trinkets that can be found at the local Wal-Mart but come at an expensive premium for the sake of the failing local school budget and to build character in the students who hawk these distasteful treasures.
Triple B, without her bike today, asked me if I would like to buy some things for her fundraiser so she could earn a bike at school. I said, “No thanks” (She already has a bike, remember?). She demanded that I take a look at the catalogue for the reason that it only happened once a year! Nice move, create urgency and demand, make me feel like I won’t make it in that year time frame before you bother the heck out of me again. Not going to work with me. “No thanks.” I say again, adding “I don’t have any money”. She looks at me, puffing out her lower lip. She must think that it looks adorable and irresistible but it looks like she just has an overly large under bite. I stick out my own lip and add, “My husband lost his job yesterday”.
“Oh, that’s okay.” She says in her most understanding voice. “You can write a check!”
“Good point.” I reply “But I’m not going to.”