While I was discussing bachelorette party plans with my sister’s bridesmaids, the British counterparts were not familiar with a bachelorette party. Once we all began passing information back and forth online we discovered that is was their version of a Hen Night.
Keeping in mind that the bride had been diagnosed with a severe case of mono the day before, we set out for a wicked Wednesday of low key fun that would put the bride in bed before she turned into a pumpkin. So, we headed out to dinner at the Huntington Beach Beer Company. I had a whole list of locations within walking distance that we could stop in for various drink specials and entertaining events but we knew that after dinner we should probably get the bride home.
Luck for all of us a young lifeguard walked in and invited us to the bar three doors down where the lifeguards were hosting a fundraising night that included auctioning off dates with themselves. We hung around, had some drinks, danced and laughed. Oh, did I mention that we all had penis headbands on? It was really easy to find the other’s in our party. All night people came up to me and said, “Do you know you have a penis on your head?” or “Are you part of a bachelorette party?” My responses were equally smart alecky.
At 10pm the lifeguard auction started. It began with Travis, a 24 year old 12th grade teacher that wanted to “teach the ladies a bit about love”. The opening bid for Travis was $50. I raised my hand and bid $50. Opening bid right? Poor me. They couldn’t get anyone to bid even 50 cents higher. Going once, going twice. I won! Oh crap. I didn’t have $50.
When I won, they asked me to come up to stage so they could see how we fit together. Never did I think I’d say this, “Thank God for penis hats”. I was easily able to locate a group of the girls who just happened to have cash. 50 dollars to be exact. I handed it to the auctioneer and pushed the bride to the stage where she posed for photos with the lifeguard. He returned to our corner table with the 20 of us and posed for a photo. We donated him to my friend Kyleen (who contributed the most to the save my butt fund). They have a date set for this week! The rest of the lifeguards went for about $10-$30 each. At that rate we could have had three of them for $50!
So yes, this is the story about how I accidentally bought my sister a man for her American Hen Night! And, as her new sister in law said, (in an English accent) “We wore willies in our hair!”