I'm thinking that if you park BEHIND a car that is parked correctly, you might be drunk. I’m thinking that you are drunk, especially if it's at the grocery store on a weekday afternoon. But, more than ever, I'm thinking that you might be drunk if you have a tree branch under your car and even my husband saw you on the opposite side of town and remembers seeing your car prior to when I saw your car at the grocery store!

Okay, please see my beautiful diagram. A forty-something woman parked her car in such a fashion as the blue box, which represents a car (All of the boxes are cars). Keep in mind that there is another row of cars parked behind the blue car and NOONE could get out of their space because she had the entire lane blocked! Not only that but she must have run over a tree because it was wedged beneath the car. Please housewives don't drink too much in the afternoon if you are going to have to run out to the market to fetch dinner...or vodka.