Monthly Archives: February 2009

Final Emo Posting of February – All Rainbows and Sunshine from Here on Out!

Final Emo Posting of February – All Rainbows and Sunshine from Here on Out!

 

In February I get really antsy. I just need to get out of Indiana. 1day, 1 week, a half a day… I’m not picky. I just want to get away! Earlier this month we visited Washington D.C. but my itching comes around sometime closer to Valentine’s Day.
I wish I could say it was winter cabin fever or that I didn’t understand it. 9 years ago yesterday my 15 year old brother died in a car accident. If that wasn’t traumatic enough, I was a world away in Africa. My calling in life was to travel and share the Bible with people. I wouldn’t say I’m bitter but I will say that two lives were cut short that day.
I’ve barely traveled since then: I fell in love with my husband and with my job(s) here in the U.S. My travel bug hits pretty regularly but often can be pacified with a visit back home in Southern California or a road trip to Ikea or a weekend of wine tasting.
When people ask me if I like it here (in the Midwest by comparison to Southern California) I often say “It’s different” or “I hate it”. It all depends on the day. Really, what I mean is that I’d rather be somewhere else. Not that I don’t want to be here, I just wish that I had moved on to somewhere new over and over again by now.
I promise that I will post a less emo posting tomorrow. I just felt inspired the past few days to be emotional. 

I Want To Know You More

I Want To Know You More

Have you ever noticed that when you leave a funeral, you feel like you know and understand that person so much more than you did or ever could have while they were alive? It’s like all the parts of their life and their heart are perfectly melded together to make a seamless picture of who they are (were).

This isn’t limited to the co-worker you sat next to or the old man from church. I even knew my own brother more after his funeral.  This makes their death even worse; you long even more to know that person again, to spend more time with them. Sadly, your chance to befriend that person or enjoy an afternoon together will never come.

 

Brother

Brother

Today my little brother should be 24 years old. He should be living a full life surrounded by family and friends. He should have had many chances in life; a chance to drive a car, a chance to go to college, a chance to get married, a chance to have a job and so much more. Sadly, he died less than two weeks before his 16th birthday. He was a passenger in a car accident with two of his closest friends and he died.

One of the saddest days of my life was attending his high school graduation. He was honored with a moment of silence and mentioned in several speeches however he was not there. Even though he wasn’t there, my family was there to honor his memory. I’ve never cried at a graduation but I couldn’t stop crying at this one. It was really hard.
Today marks the 9th anniversary. For some reason I thought that at some point this day would be erased from my memory and the mention or thought of “February 19th” wouldn’t burn my hurt or bring tears to my eyes. 9 years later, I think that there will NEVER come a point where this day will not stand out.
R.I.P. James……

Valentine’s Weekend

Valentine’s Weekend

Our Valentine’s weekend was a full one! It started with a nice steak dinner on Thursday night. The steak dinner was sponsored by the men in my husband’s fraternal organization. It was at a quaint restaurant called Broadripple Steak House. The steak was delicious and the company of those in our party was unbeatable!

On Friday, our friends were in the city for the weekend so we drove there and had dinner at The Ram, a brewery that I haven’t been super impressed with in the past (but our friends from out of town count it as a favorite) but this time was an exception! We had wonderful service, exquisite cuisine and again, unmatched companionship. We all were having so much fun that we didn’t let the night end there! We went Duckpin Bowling.
Duckpin Bowling is at a bowling alley but the pins are half sized and the ball is a bit bigger than a softball and a bit heavier than a bocce ball. Also, you get 3 chances to knock down all of the pins! Only my husband Jay had ever been so it was a fun new experience for all of us.
Saturday night we met back up in the city with our friends as well as Camp Guy and my Dot Com work friend. We spend the night cheering on the Naptown Roller Girls! That’s right, we all attended our first ever Roller Derby! I completely recommend that everyone go to the Roller Derby sometime soon! It was such a great time. There is BIG TIME culture at the roller derby. The announcers do a great job of explaining the game and its rules. I’d also call it pretty family friendly.
Sunday I wrapped up the weekend with a trip to Ikea all by myself. Keeping with the Valentine’s theme, I bought a “Love” desk. I’ll show you all later. 

Own It!

Own It!

 When I left the Dot Com last month I left with 1 box of stuff. When I arrived at the Not For Profit that will be my new home, I brought a lot of stuff, was given a lot of stuff and asked what color I wanted my office to be painted. I selected a nice green color. Later I changed my mind an selected a more vibrant color called, Green Apple with a few accent stripes of Perfectly Pink.

When I arrived on my first day to the office of Green Apple (sans the Perfectly Pink until Green Apple dries), I almost died. My office glows. It’s more conducive to a Mexican food restaurant or …I don’t know what than to an office at a church. My best friend Kathy says, “You picked it, own it!”
So, here I sit, owning it. I will admit, it was much easier to own when it was a little tiny square on a paint color strip. Every time I over hear a comment in the hallway or someone gasps when they walk in, I smile. Will you own it with me? 

 

Engagement Rings

Engagement Rings

Big, over the top, expensive or otherwise ridiculous engagement rings are stupid (like my sophomoric vocabulary?) in my opinion. I don’t say this because I am envious or because I don’t enjoy over the top-ness; in fact my engagement ring is much larger than I ever expected AND I love to do over the top things. Generally I don’t even wear my engagement ring, I stick to the simple, jewel-less wedding band that my husband and I selected the day before we left for our wedding.

Recently, I watched the movie, Bride Wars with some friends of mine. When Kate Hudson was presented with a hunk-a-hunk-a ring there were some loud gasps and screams in the theatre. It was rather humorous! I even joined in a second or two afterwards to mock them. (Spoiler Alert) Contrary to reality, Kate Hudson and her partners characters actually were the couple that stayed together in the end and Anne Hathaway with her modest ring (modest only in comparison) walked away without the man who bestowed her with it.

Reasons for Large Jewelry:

Elizabeth Taylor/Richard Burton twice married and divorced 69 Carat Harry Winston: Yeah, we see how that worked out…TWICE! And she had man-brows, she need something to distract people from looking at those things.

Madonna 3 Stone: She still cheated (allegedly). Guess that Guy Ritchie needed to reinvent himself.

Paris Hilton ($5 million 24 carat canary diamond ring and a $2.1 million 15 carat white diamond ring): She’s still ugly and gross and the relationship didn’t work out.

The Kobe $4 million Forgiveness Ring: 3 days after being charged with rape, Kobe gave this ring to Vanessa. This might be one of the only acceptable BIG rings.

Lady Diana (18 carat blue oval sapphire that was circled by fourteen diamonds): We all know the tragedy that come of this – perhaps the Prince should have taken lessons from Kobe.

The list goes on and on… Every time I see a large ring on a woman, especially on a woman of my same socio-economic status, I start to wonder. I don’t think I’m the only one either.
Some people ask for definitions of “big” and others provide that definition. Elias West from Send Out Cards says, “If you can hide a knuckle behind the diamond, it’s too big!”

Others might define big based upon price or even based upon the income of the individual purchasing the ring. My personal definition comes from the dollar standpoint. I hate hearing my friends fret over the 2-3 month salary price tag. I also hate to hear my friends expect that and place those expectations on their men. This summer, this was a big topic of conversation with our friends Mike and Chandra and I left the conversation (hoping) wondering if they would ever get married.

Source: http://www.ultimate-engagement-ring-guide.com

This Isn’t Really an Entry About Vegetables

This Isn’t Really an Entry About Vegetables

I love growing things. I don’t know if it’s because although I have so very little to do with it in the grand scheme of things, I know that my plants rely on me.

Today, a friend/co-worker (from the job that I left last week) passed away at the young age of 27. Despite having the best attitude and most positive outlook on life that one can have in a sales position during tough economic times, I know that she didn’t live a very healthy lifestyle. Not being a doctor and not knowing all of the details of her death (she had pneumonia per the diagnosis of a doctor the night before and then died overnight in her bed. Her husband found her that way when he went to check on her in the morning) I cannot tell you that her less than healthy lifestyle was cause for her death. However, I do know that bad eating habits, extra weight, smoking and high stress situations are not good on the heart.

Having a heart problem and weight issues myself, her death is more than a much needed wake up call. Her death positively affirms my decision to leave The Dot Com and pursue a much lower paying, less ladder climbing position that aligns perfectly with my gifts, talents and passion. Knowing that such a loving, joyful, life grabbing YOUNG woman has departed; leaving behind a husband, a family that she loved and friends who loved her so extremely, has shaken me to my core. I need to alter my life. Completely. Now.
I love vegetables. They just aren’t convenient; they go bad quickly and they are expensive. Today I planted a full vegetable garden on my dining room table. In little plastic seedling planters and tiny paper cups, I began the life of 100’s of new plants. When the weather warms up, they will find new homes within the soil of my backyard. They will give my husband and me sustenance and health. Until then, I will purchase vegetables and EAT them from the store. I will lose those 60 pounds that I need to, I will exercise and I will LIVE a fuller, healthier life than I do now.
AR – I thank you for the life you lived. You are missed.