I think that the moment you get engaged people think you are ready to pop out kids. Maybe it’s because they did or maybe it’s because somehow that has become the next logical life step. I don’t think you can assume that this is someone’s next step anymore! Not all of us are climbing the same flight of stairs!
My flight of stairs so far has looked like this: finish high school, travel/volunteer abroad, work, go to college-college athlete, move (more than) half way across the country for a full time job, get married/buy a house, go back to school and finish, work. The next step that I see on the staircase says TRAVEL (while working).
It’s only one trip but not one that you can really do if you are pregnant or have a baby. In 3 months we are hiking to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and back up. It’s expected to be a strenuous trip and has even been called a once in a life time opportunity. I think it’s considered that because either you die doing it or finish it saying, “I’ll never do that again”!
This post was about kids wasn’t it? The next step doesn’t necessarily say “Kid(s)” but it does say “Happiness”. What does that mean? I’m glad you asked! It may involve children but for sure it involves making sure I’m happy at my job and that Jay and I are surviving financially. So far, those are the only two steps that are in view on my staircase.
It’s not necessarily that I picked this staircase knowing what each step was but it most certainly is very different from any of my friends’ staircases
I know you are going to find this hard to believe but I have yet another NEW JOB! Things at the DOT COM didn’t really work out. I had to let them go. Inevitably I would have been let go at some point. The last few months I did well, well in comparison to others but not well in the sense that I hit any goals at all!
Are you wondering why I let them go? It just wasn’t a right fit. I was meant to be doing something else with my life – I know that long term I would have been such a great asset to the company and even if they don’t know it, I would have brought a lot to the table. It was my first delve into the For Profit world and boy was it a shock to the system! I was afforded some amazing opportunities and I have some great memories from there but the things I learned were more about other people and that the grass is not always greener on the profitable business side. It’s stacked with cash, but it’s not necessarily greener.
I learned a lot about working for or being led by management that may have made excellent sales people but don’t really have the leadership skills or guidance to lead other people. It’s not their fault necessarily it’s just that they have been placed in charge of multi-million dollar revenue expectations but don’t know how to deal with the people directly responsible for making that happen.
There were some things said to me that sadly will be hard to forget, they are like scars on my heart and I only pray that someday they will at a minimum fade. Even writing them might be a bad idea since then they become a matter of “public record” but I must.
Said directly to me: “When I hired you, it was because I thought you were a glass is half full kind of girl. The more I get to know you I realize that you are one of the OTHER kinds of people.”
Said to my entire team during bad economical times in our country: “It’s like the SVP said, we could hire monkeys to sit here and not sell anything.”
Said to a coworker: “Monkey’s can sell better than you.” (Is anyone else wondering about the monkeys?)
Above all, some feelings I never want to experience: spending almost a year being fearful for my job. Being told I was a “business professional” but being treated like a (flaky) teenage hourly worker at a fast food restaurant (I guess it’s hard to see your employees as business professionals if you refer to them as monkeys). If this had been my first or only job in the real world, I might think that this was the way it was for everyone, everywhere. Lucky for me, I know that there are plenty of places in the business world or otherwise that I fit in, am respected and considered more than just “a seat filler”.
Don’t feel badly that it didn’t really work out because it did. I worked for a company that I love and respect – I just didn’t work in a capacity that provided me with the same.
I’m sure that everyone has their own opinion on immigration and whatnot but that’s not the point of this post.
My neighbor and recent friend married a very nice man who was born in Mexico. One way or another while he was working in the states, they met. They dated for 3 years and then were married for another 3 years. His visa or whatever ended and he had to go back to Mexico in the midst of them going through the long application process for his green card.
He was denied citizenship and told he could try again in 1 year. In the meantime, he was living in Mexico and she was living and working in the Midwest. Luckily her job allows for her to work mostly from home so she packed up their dogs, their belongings and their life and moved to Mexico also. Currently they are trying to sell their home while they live abroad.
This is so sad to me. I don’t really understand all of it but why on television and movies do people get married to get their green card if it really isn’t that simple or quick? Were any of you under the same impression that marriage=green card?
Now our neighborhood is losing another quality family and I won’t be able to hang out with them!
I think my biggest problem in life is that I’m too accepting. Anyone that I spend a significant amount of time with automatically gets the name, Friend. Another fault is that I assume that other people are somewhat like me in this fashion and get disappointed when they aren’t.
How do you know when someone deserves the title or introduction of friend? Is it only when they would call you the same? Is it sort of like that precarious dance with the “L word” in a relationship? I never thought that I would struggle with the “F word” in this way! Maybe there are clues all along the way, like when someone calls you their “Neighbor” to define their relationship to you despite the fact that you are only “Neighbors” because you were first “Friends”.
I’m just looking for a few definitions of friends, not the Webster’s type of definitions. I want raw statements about what a friend is. Sometimes I can come about a definition of what a friend is by going into what a friend isn’t.
- Isn’t ever fake with you. Perhaps with other people but never with you. No matter how close you are or aren’t, if they call themselves your friend they don’t ever pretend with you.
- Isn’t someone whose actions make you sob yourself to sleep or lose sleep because you are tossing and turning.
- Doesn’t come between you and your husband or between you and your other friends.
- Never lies to you or about you.
Okay Internets, I am convinced that between my list of Isn’ts/Doesn’ts/Nevers and anything that you tell me will help me figure out the relationships in my life. If you would rather directly write me rather than comment, please do so but comments are welcome. They may help other people.
This is not an initiation for you to SPAM me but I will tell you that this month I probably received about 40 pieces of spam, 500 work related emails, 3000 notifications from various group or social networking sites I am a part of, 25 or so forwards and 1000 messages from lists I am part of (Family Google Group). In the past month with it being Christmas and New Years, I received about 50 of the obligatory “Merry Christmas” and “Happy New Year” texts and about 100-200 texts with information. Since I don’t read every Twitter from my feed nor do I have it texted to my phone, I won’t count those but perhaps I could even count the ones I read and respond to. They still would not amount to the total of 14,528!
This was the total number of one Orange County teenager’s (13 years old) text messages in one month’s time! Click here to read the article! Notice the ballsy move of the writer to publish his own cell phone # inviting you to text him!
I need to vent. Yes, this is going to be a post full of fury and negativity. Please stop reading if you will use this to judge me in any fashion other than to know that I am hurt and feel disappointed.
For a long time I’ve wanted to work for a particular dot com company. Yay! Lucky me! With my college degree and the 9 years of experience I’ve gained since high school, I got the job! I’ve worked there since April and I love the company! I love our purpose and innovation. Purpose and innovation don’t make for a perfect situation though. Coming from a not for profit background, I’ve been shocked (sometimes pleasantly) at the way things in the FOR profit world work. Where’s the negativity?
We can all feel the rips, tears and sometimes slashes that the state of this country has left our businesses and our pocketbooks. This isn’t really my complaint. My complaint is that this does not give people the right to mistreat people. Since day two (day one was a total honeymoon period), I’ve felt worthless and miserable. I’ve never fit in and despite my best efforts; my talents are again being wasted.
I’ve tried to remain positive but I’ve pretty much thrown in the towel. The hardest part is that if a group of people are complaining about something and I add a little bit to the conversation, I’m lashed out against and people say things like, “Why do you hate, The Dot Com?” Hmmm, was I not just agreeing with you that life sucks right now? If I’m against you, I’m against you. If I’m with you, I’m against you! What can I do? Why am I not allowed low grade venting but you are?
I’ve watched a lot of movies lately. I cannot even name all of the movies that I’ve seen in the past few weeks. We used to subscribe to the Blockbuster movie service that mails DVD’s to your home and allows you to take them to the store to exchange for a new set. This summer we sat on the same 3 DVDs for about 5 months. Then, we discovered Red Box.
Red Box charges $1 per DVD per night and can be rented or returned at over 10,000 locations nationwide. This means that when we travel, I can rent a few DVD’s at McDonalds down the street and then return it in another state at a truck stop. Another perk that I really enjoy is that Red Box sends me a free rental code on my cell phone every Monday. As if that wasn’t enough, you can go online and reserve the movies that you want at specific locations.
When I was younger, I watched EVERY movie that came out. It’s been a long time since I’ve watched a lot of movies but I’m catching up. In fact, today my husband could only find one movie at the Red Box that I hadn’t already seen (other than the kids movies).
Some movies that I recommend: The Good Life, Eagle Eye, Traitor, Wanted, Deception, Hancock and Birds of America.
Last night, my BFF asked me if I had ever truly been happy. I didn’t have to think very long because I had just had the same conversation with my husband. I even pinpointed the exact time frame that I became unhappy or “less happy”.
Her question didn’t end there. She wanted to know if I felt that I felt I wasn’t judgmental of others during that time. That question also only took a few seconds to answer. The answer was yes! Yes, when I was happier I didn’t even think negatively about other people or really care what they were up to. I was more interested in trying to help them and care ABOUT them. I’ve always been told that when people treat you poorly it’s more of a reflection about how they are feeling about themselves but now I KNOW that it’s true.
One caveat; there does come a point where people’s attitudes towards themselves and in turn, towards you begin to affect you and you begin to feel badly about yourself and turn that around either back on those people or onto someone else.
I don’t feel offended because this was a question asked during BFF’s yoga class and she was asking more as a reflection on HER life rather than as an illumination on my own life. She disagrees that happiness is a reflection of “judgmental-ness” but in my life, I MUST agree with that. What do you think? Feel free to comment here or send me an email.
Bare Minerals Tutorials – Lesson 1: Smoky Eye
After visiting Sephora several times the past few months, I finally decided to break down and buy the kit that contained the materials necessary to replicate the look they’ve given me for special functions. This kit comes with the two colors and special bush needed to look amazing!
Not only do I have the materials, but within the kit is a tip card that teaches two techniques for that amazing smoky eye look seen on stars like Angelina Jolie.
This is my smoky eye look and below is my craftmanship on Corn Dog.
This afternoon, one of my friends, Corn Dog and I had a nice time drinking mint tea and passion tea from my glass tea pot. I think that everyone needs a glass tea pot. For some reason I become obsessed with owning one last year and I finally picked one up at an antique store at the Orange Circle in California. It’s not actually an antique but I love it. Until today I’ve never used it and I’m so happy I finally did!
It was so relaxing to just sit there at the kitchen table and catch up on life.
I’ve noticed a lot lately that I own some really nice things that I never get a chance to use! Do you find that in your own life too? What is something that you purchased and haven’t had a chance to use because it’s either too nice or you are too busy? Are you waiting for an occasion? Why not make TODAY the occasion?
Corn Dog also let me try out my new Smoky Eyes Tutorial on her. I’ll share more of that in my next post.