Monthly Archives: November 2007

Grrr

Grrr

 Why bringing your dog to work is a good idea:
 
1. She can console you when people make you sad.
2. She can entertain you when you are bored.
3. She reminds you to take regular potty breaks.
4. She likes you even when other people don’t.
5. She can attack people who are evil towards you.
6. She can win over people who are indifferent or mean to you.
7. She can give fleas to people who are female dogs to you.
8. She can eat that report that was due yesterday.
9. She can remind you why you keep going to this wretched place day after day: to pay her vet bills.
10. She can clean up your spilled French fries from the floor BEFORE your boss sees them.

Can you tell that I am having a particularly difficult day today?

The Mad Pooper?

The Mad Pooper?

 This morning while I was sitting behind my computer at work (at the local high school), my email notification beeps and I read this: “Good morning, If anyone issued a pass this morning during 1st period (probably to a female student), please let me know. (The “mad pooper’s” sister has gotten into the act.) It may be a male, so anyone on a pass may be responsible. -Principle”

So right away I text message my co-workers who are out of the office today and say, “What’s this Mad Pooper business?” I figure they’ll know because they have been here way longer. They must have their phones off during the conference (how polite, no one does that anymore) and I cannot wait any longer because “Mad Pooper” just keeps racing back and forth in my brain like an annoying screen saver that hits the side of the screen and returns the other direction until it hits the other side and starts all over again. So, I ask a co-worker in another room. You’ll recall my Rainbow Pooper blog entries last month. If not, search for them on the search engine below.

Apparently, last year, the “OMP” (Original Mad Pooper) would “catch” his poop and smear it all around the bathroom at the high school. This brought back memories of 8th grade when I walked into the bathroom in the girl’s locker room and someone had written on the mirror a la romance movies. They didn’t use lipstick though. Some misguided girl obviously hadn’t realized that you were supposed to use lipstick, not poo. Visions of “I love Bobby” scrawled largely on the mirror in broken brown traces are now the new screen saver in my head.

I think the all text “Mad Pooper” was a lot better than the picture version for my personal screen saver.

Pierce my Chicken Tender Calories

Pierce my Chicken Tender Calories

 I have two jobs at the high school that I work at; make sure the kids are only using the computers for school work and move the mobile laptop lab from class to class. The worst part is monitoring the computer usage of high school students.

The other day, a Spanish class was in the computer lab researching different Spanish artists and people who made a historical difference. One of the kids was looking at pictures of spiders and showing all of the kids around him. I asked him to please start working on his project and he said, “I am!”

I said, “What do spiders have to do with Spanish?” 

He replied, “They’re Spanish spiders!”

I was drinking a glass of water and it came out of my nose from laughing. Don’t worry; it didn’t get on my work issued computer.

Today I was thinking about how strange it is that the same student who was “googling” “tongue piercing” and then after he satisfied his knowledge for that topic, his next search was for “calories in chicken tenders”. I sense a liberal arts student in the making.

List Lady

List Lady

 It’s been a long time coming but I have to share the experience of my first Home Owners Association Meeting. It was at this meeting that I decided to be a member of the board, thus giving me the inspiration to write this blog.

 

Due to the drama and “energy” at past meetings, a police officer had to be present. While the lawyer went over the covenants and rules via a power point, people continuously interrupted to tattle on one another and to complain about their “rights”. I’m sorry, did you not read the fine print when you bought your house and decided to live in an associated neighborhood? You were told exactly WHAT your rights were and let me tell you, they stop at the moving truck.

 

One neighbor complained about all of the wild cats and dogs running around. Oh, I know she wasn’t talking about the two or three times that my dog ran away from me and we were right on his tail, along with two neighbor friends. Then, the infamous Cat Lady stands up and says, “Please, don’t call the Humane Society! Just call me; I have a no-kill cat trap that I will let you borrow. I won’t even charge you but you have to promise that if you catch a cat, you will bring it to me”. Right lady, like we are going to help you feed your addiction. Creepy cat junkie…

 

Then, this other lady stands up and I swear, she unrolled a scrolled up list, Santa Clause style. As the end rolled down to the floor, she began reading the following, “Mow your lawn, I’m sick of looking at knee-high grass, there should not be cars parked on the street or the driveways, USE YOUR GARAGE! Take care of your weeds; you need to have only grass growing in your yard. People, get some curtains! Take those freakin’ bed sheets out of the windows!”

 

I turned back around and faced the front, my jaw almost to my belly-button. “Who died and made her queen?” I asked my husband.

 

The rest of the meeting was then monopolized by Cat Lady and List Lady. Oh, and let’s not forget the Angry Guy who is angry that the drainage pond behind his house is not full. He yelled and screamed and cursed up a storm. At that moment, the police officer STOOD UP! According to our lawyer and management company, List Lady is not in the right and cannot dictate her own rules and impose them upon the people of the Maple Neighborhood. Thank the Lord. Not that I have bedsheets in my window but when I was a kid, my mom made me curtains out of bedsheets so I don’t see a problem with the whole idea.

101 Things to do in 1001 Days Project

101 Things to do in 1001 Days Project
 1. Help out with the youth group 5 times (when Jacob is around).
2. Donate our pledged amount of money to the church
3. Lose 60 pounds.
4. Exercise 5 times per week for a month.
5. Get back into rowing.
6. Kick the soda habit in the butt
7. Join or begin a walking group
8. Find a job that I love (most of the time).
9. Buy a 2nd piece of property.
10. Have a girl’s night out 3 times per month for a year.
11. Live off of my planned budget for 1 consecutive month
12. Pay off all of my credit cards
13. Keep my car very clean (spotless) for one month
14. Get diamond earrings
15. Keep up with my oil changes
16. Keep up with the dog’s shots
17. Go to an OSU football game
18. Go to a Colts football game
19. Break a 150 at bowling
20. Attend 2 Alumni rowing events
21. Vote for a president and have 10 great reasons why!
22. Go sailing and be a part of it
23. Keep up with this list at least once per month.
24. 30 consecutive days of no television
25. 10 consecutive days with no internet
26. Sell 100 items on ebay
27. Paint the living room
28. Paint the kitchen
29. Paint the master bathroom
30. Finish painting the upstairs bathroom
31. Finish painting the downstairs bathroom
32. Tile a backsplash in the kitchen
33. Replace the kitchen cabinet doors with some glass
34. Re-floor the kitchen
35. Replace the flooring in the living room/dinning room
36. Put up that fence
37. Organize the closet
38. Get a china hutch
39. Organize the game closet
40. Organize the downstairs closet
41. Make my bed everyday for one month
42. Finish one of my books
43. Post one blog per day for 2 consecutive months
44. Write my will.
45. Read 100 books.
46. Visit Greece
47. Visit Australia
48. Go on an out of country trip with my parents again
49. Visit Havasu 2 times per year.
50. Go on a train trip
51. See a Broadway show on Broadway!
52. Geo-cache with Jacob and find 200 more caches
53.Visit Christmas at the Zoo
54. Visit the zoo on a normal day
55. Visit every winery in Indiana
56. Make wine with J
57. Visit 3 art galleries or showings
58. Attend 2 really big concerts
59. Visit the Art Museum each season
60. Attend the theatre (not movie) 5 times
61. Work on at least 4 devotions with Jacob.
62. Attend church activities at least 2 times per month
63. Daily quiet time for one month
64. Find my niche at church (where can I serve/give back)
65. Get my degree
66. Take a class for fun
67. Learn to dance
68. Transfer 8mm camcorder tapes to digital format
69. Scan and upload photos from mom and dad’s house
70. Scan and upload all of the photos at my house
71. Scan and upload photos from Jacob’s parent’s house
72. Take one photo every day for a year
73. Complete a 26-Things Scavenger Hunt
74. Eat only raw foods for an entire day
75. Volunteer to read at church 5 times
76. Visit my old church in Greenwood
77. Train for a marathon
78. Complete a marathon
79. Take my heart medication daily.
80. Be active in Partylite for one year or quit.
81. Sleep on the beach
82. Scuba dive with dad
83. Take a hot air balloon ride
84. Get a parks pass and USE it!
85. Clean the heck out of the garage and get rid of it all!
86. Go snowboarding at least once
87. Date night with Jacob 2 times per month
88. Find a friend to also make a 101 things list!
89. Try 50 new restaurants
90. Interview my grandparents
91. Participate in Race for the Cure
92. Organize my computer files
93. Back-up everything on my computer
94. Go ice skating
95. Play laser tag
96. Enter something into the state fair
97. Go one month without eating out.
98. Eat one two meals per week at the kitchen table with Jacob.
99. Organize miscellaneous scraps of paper.
100. Organize my recipes.
101. Make a new list of 101 Things to Do & donate $5 to James’ memorial fund for every task on this list that I do not complete.

 I pledge to do everything possible to complete this list (beginning Monday, November 26, 2007) by Monday, August 23, 2010

I’m Trying to be Thankful, Darn it!

I’m Trying to be Thankful, Darn it!

Thanksgiving is less than two days away and I am so shocked. Sometimes I look around and wonder, “Where has time gone?” Where has the year gone? Where has my life gone? I feel like I’ve gotten too old too quick. My goals are nowhere near reached and time is running out. Does anyone else ever feel this way? Does anyone else ever feel this way even before they are REALLY, REALLY old? I know that people who are much older than me say, “You are so young, you have so much time.” But the thing is, do I really? Even if I do, what am I doing everyday to get closer to my goals and dreams?

 On Thursday, we will celebrate Thanksgiving with my husband’s parents. I am very Thankful for them. We will also celebrate with Jacob’s best friend, Special Friend. We are also very thankful for the special people in our life; those who started as friends and then became family. We will be missing my parents, my sister, Jay’s sister and all of our other family members, for them we are also very thankful.

We will also deeply miss those family members we have lost but we will be thankful for the time that we had with them. Thanksgiving might be rough this year, what do you think? Yesterday, Neighbor said that she hates Thanksgiving. It’s just about the food.

Is it really just about the food? I don’t think so but is that what it’s become?

The Front Porch

The Front Porch

I used to have this very nice, elderly neighbor named Bessie. When we met, she said she was 19 years old but she was really 91. I saw her through her 29th and 39th birthdays. She was a hoot. When the weather was 60 degrees or higher, she would sit outside and watch the neighborhood, when it was below 60 degrees, she would sit inside and watch the world via the television. I imagine that in some ways I will be like Bessie when I get old(er).

 The first time we met was the day I moved into the house. This was back before I was married and lived in a normal, non-home owners associated neighborhood. Oh yeah, and I had a fun job back then too. Bessie was sweeping the street the day that I moved in and my father urged me to be neighborly and introduce myself. So, I did. She was saddened to hear that because we had arrived in town so late the night before, we slept on the floor of the house instead of unpacking and assembling beds. She said, “Oh, you should have come over and knocked on the door. I have two empty beds”.

Welcome to the Midwest Kat.

Bessie and I would sit together every now and then. I took her grocery shopping and to a senior citizens dance. She couldn’t drive but I’m not too sure that getting into my Ford Explorer was much easier. Lucky for both of us, I had running boards and a strong back. One day, Bessie asked me if I would please sew some curtains to put in my front windows, she was tired of looking into the big, empty window. I explained that I didn’t sew. She asked if I cooked. I snickered and said, kind of. “How about cleaning?” she asked. I told her that I wasn’t too good at that either. She replied loudly, “Well, it’s no wonder you are not married!”

Now I clean, cook sometimes and I still can’t sew. I did however end up buying some really nice green curtains for that front window. I stopped by to see Bessie after I was married and had moved on to another curtain-less house. She was still sitting on the front porch. That was about 3 years ago. When I drove by there last time, it was 75 degrees, there were red and white curtains in the big window of my old house and Bessie was not on the front porch…

It’s a Dog’s Life for Us

It’s a Dog’s Life for Us

 There are two more things that I’d like to add to the list of “Great Things about Living in the Suburbs”.

One great thing is that people have BIG dogs. Yes, there are lots of little dogs too, but usually pretentious mansion dwelling types or grandmas have those. Because of the all American “yard” that can be found in the ‘burbs, people aren’t afraid to have big dogs. I don’t even mean those giant horse-like creatures called St. Bernard’s; I’m talking about Golden Retrievers and Labradors.

We love our Golden Retriever. I mean we really, really love her. She takes up our whole bed and steals the covers. She eats cough drops forgotten on the nightstand and miscellaneous odds and ends. She never barks and always chases the squirrels from our yard. Best of all, as friendly and cuddly as she looks people are intimidated by her (for about a second).

There are very few small, yippy dogs in my neighborhood and I love it! Besides the noise that small dogs make, I hate the poop factor. When people have a small, cat sized dog, they don’t feel the need to pick up after it when it craps in someone else’s yard. The must figure that no one will notice, but they aren’t there when I walk outside barefoot to get the mail. When people have a BIG dog, they know that it will not go unnoticed if they leave said movement on your front lawn so they pick it up.

A second great thing that I thought of this morning is that people in the ‘burbs include dogs as part of your family. I cannot tell you how many times we’ve been invited to a party or gathering and the hosts have invited our “baby” as well. Not only are four legged family members welcome at several restaurants during warmer weather, but my favorite bagel place (yes we have bagels in the ‘burbs) and the bank offer dog bagels and biscuits at the drive-thru when you have a pet in your car. The bank offering treats to Puppy is a good idea because she always hungrily eyes the lollipops that are given to children in other cars.

Some stores here even leave dog bowls full of fresh water outside of their shops for passing pups to guzzle down. Have I mentioned dog parks yet? A huge fenced in yard with trees and beautiful grass, ramps and tunnels, places to jump. We love those dog parks! My boss at my old job also let us bring our dogs in to work, and not just on bring your “dog-ter” to work day.

I seriously doubt that our sixty pound “puppy” would be welcome in the city.
 

It’s a Dog’s Life for Us

It’s a Dog’s Life for Us

There are two more things that I’d like to add to the list of “Great Things about Living in the Suburbs”.

One great thing is that people have BIG dogs. Yes, there are lots of little dogs too, but usually pretentious mansion dwelling types or grandmas have those. Because of the all American “yard” that can be found in the ‘burbs, people aren’t afraid to have big dogs. I don’t even mean those giant horse-like creatures called St. Bernard’s; I’m talking about Golden Retrievers and Labradors.

We love our Golden Retriever. I mean we really, really love her. She takes up our whole bed and steals the covers. She eats cough drops forgotten on the nightstand and miscellaneous odds and ends. She never barks and always chases the squirrels from our yard. Best of all, as friendly and cuddly as she looks people are intimidated by her (for about a second).

There are very few small, yippy dogs in my neighborhood and I love it! Besides the noise that small dogs make, I hate the poop factor. When people have a small, cat sized dog, they don’t feel the need to pick up after it when it craps in someone else’s yard. The must figure that no one will notice, but they aren’t there when I walk outside barefoot to get the mail. When people have a BIG dog, they know that it will not go unnoticed if they leave said movement on your front lawn so they pick it up.

A second great thing that I thought of this morning is that people in the ‘burbs include dogs as part of your family. I cannot tell you how many times we’ve been invited to a party or gathering and the hosts have invited our “baby” as well. Not only are four legged family members welcome at several restaurants during warmer weather, but my favorite bagel place (yes we have bagels in the ‘burbs) and the bank offer dog bagels and biscuits at the drive-thru when you have a pet in your car. The bank offering treats to Puppy is a good idea because she always hungrily eyes the lollipops that are given to children in other cars.

Some stores here even leave dog bowls full of fresh water outside of their shops for passing pups to guzzle down. Have I mentioned dog parks yet? A huge fenced in yard with trees and beautiful grass, ramps and tunnels, places to jump. We love those dog parks! My boss at my old job also let us bring our dogs in to work, and not just on bring your “dog-ter” to work day.

I seriously doubt that our sixty pound “puppy” would be welcome in the city.

Sneaky Fox and Snuggle Bugs

Sneaky Fox and Snuggle Bugs

 Every time I hang out with DD Momma, I can’t help but remember the fun stories about her 3 year old, Little Blondie. Once they came over and we had so much fun laughing at what Little Blondie says on accident (Is it still an accident if we ask her to say it?). DDM said that Little Blondie went up to her dad and said, “Daddy, I want to sing the Fu**in’ song!” and then she proceeded to sing, “Where is fu**in’, where is fu**in’? Here I am! Here I am!”

Lucky me! I got an encore performance. Also, from the Dora series, there is apparently a sneaky fox. As she left, Little Blondie said, “Good bye you Sneaky Fu**s”! Love that kid!

Last night DD Momma and I had margaritas and beer and ate wings while we played trivia (we kicked butt!) and talked about our lives. It was so fun and relaxing. Our next date? Drinks before grocery shopping. We did that once and it was great. Any buzz you get (none, really) wears off as you walk across the parking lot to Wal-Mart and walk the isles of that store, loading up your cart.

When I got home last night, my husband Jay and I watched a movie called, The Ex. It was okay but there was this baby in it that was such a cute little thing. He snuggled so much! Every time Zach Braff picked him up, he snuggled up against his chest and looked so adorable (maybe he thinks Zach is cute too!). Jay got so sick of me saying something about it. Finally, he said, “You’ve already said that like 9 times! It’s getting annoying!” Boooo. We’re obviously still not ready for kids.